Lessons From a Short Obsession

Lessons From a Short Obsession

Paulo Coelho:

You start living for the obsession alone … You want to arrive somewhere regardless of whether you’re enjoying the road or not.

This is the last post that the ******** is going to be making. it has had a short and very bumpy ride along the road of servitude. it thinks that it would be a glorious thing to arrive at spending one moment basking in Master's approval. it also thinks that is damn unlikely.

He needs someone who can give Him more of itself. the ******** has a Real Life Dom and a large part of the ******** is not available to Master SignpostMarv Martin. The ********* has tried to break away from Master several times, but each time was tempted back. it wants to make it clear that it is only its' own lacks that are causing the problem. Master is everything a Dom should be: powerful, fascinating, tempting. He will be the perfect dom for the correct type of sub. One word of caution, take Him seriously when He says He is strict. Be prepared to be humbled.

Lesson 1: the ******** learned that when faced with the fight or flight instinct it invariably chooses flight. it thinks this is very valuable info to have had pointed out. Maybe it can be more conscious of its' decisions in the future instead of just letting instinct take over. Right now it wants to make all kinds of excuses for its' decisons: it impacts its' real life too much, it is causing stress between it and its' RL Dom, etc.. In the back of the *********'s mind it can hear Master SignpostMarv Martin's authoritive “BULLSHIT” so, just once it will whisper into the world the truth. He knows how to wound it. He knocks it to the ground with His words. He can be very cruel. Deserved or not, the ******* chooses not to bear it. Once again the ********* is running.

Lesson 2: the ******** learned to be more careful in what it asks for. it thought it wanted strict. it thought it had a concept of what it was getting into. it was very wrong. it had no clue.

Lesson 3: In many ways Master tried to teach it to listen more carefully and be careful in what it does. He corrected and punished it consistently when it made stupid mistakes for not listening. He gave it permission to read the forums, but not to comment, which reinforced listening. it had not realized how much it gets away with in the real world. when it is careless and makes mistakes it charms its' way out of them with large innocent looks and giggles. it thinks perhaps it may of outgrown the ditz role it uses. the ******** thanks Master for showing it this.

Lesson 4: it caught a bit of a lesson on being ambitious, having business sense and money savvy. the ******** knows it did not even grasp the begginings of this lesson. it hopes that maybe it can continue it in another way. Thank You, Master, for showing the ******** a new concept.

Lesson 5: the ********* learned it has more interest in pain and violence then it thought. it doesn’t know if this is something it wants to thank Master for, but it is something it learned about itself. it does regret that it will never learn how callie broke her nose. *grin* Perhaps it should say thank You, Master for keeping it hot and bothered.

Lesson 6: the ******** learned she enjoys blogging. Perhaps there is someway that whimsy will be able to continue a blog. Maybe find a different venue. Thank You, Master for sharing some fun things.

Many more lessons – the ********* is sure it learned many more lessons great and small: things about Second Life, things about money, things about the D/s lifestyle. Knowing Master SignpostMarv Martin is going to have a long impact on its’ life.

Paulo Coelho

You drown not by falling into a river, but by staying submerged in it.

the ********* is not willing to drown. it is stepping out of the river.

Note from Whimsycallie Pegler:

I don’t know what is on this side of the river. Lots of messes that need cleaned up: an understandly angry Sir, a list of projects that will never get completed, a piece of land that He has invested time in setting up and buliding on, hours of time He has invested in me. I do truly know that I owe SignpostMarv Martin alot. I hope that somehow all of this will be able to be worked through.

Note from Master SignpostMarv Martin

Pay more attention when coding XHTML, I just had to correct a bunch of your mistakes, as usual.


May 25, 2006 at 9:13 pm 1 comment

Exploring Second Life – May 23

Journal Entry May 23

Master SignpostMarv Martin helped the ******* learn alot about land. He walked it through all about what first land meant and the priviledge of it. (basically every premium citizen has the right to own a small first time plot of land at a special low Linden price). He took the ******** through several plot options and helped it to pick one to buy. He gave the ******** a lot of information on options and goals it may wish to pursue in the future. He helped it set up many of the features on its' land. In SL there are many things you can decide about your land. Thing like who can be there and who can build there.

The ******** has also begun to find out more about building and creating items in SL. That is one of the greatest things you can do there. You can basically build anything your imagination can come up with. You can use scripts to make it work however you want, and there are lots of great things that have already been built. One the ********'s biggest pleasures has been watching Master SignpostMarv Martin work and create.

Note from Master SignpostMarv.

This post is extremely boring. It reads like an informational leaflet. Use your flickr account, play with the widget and start adding photos to this journal of yours.

May 24, 2006 at 12:31 am Leave a comment

Servitude – repentance is not enough.

Not enough.

the ******** went into its' Monday with a determination to be good. it thought it had adjusted its' attitude. it worked at being compliant, at keeping Master's wishes in mind. The ******** is still so lowly. All of this still does not flow naturally.

Master had a friend around. the ********* had difficulty in handling how it felt being in a vulnerable postion. its stupidity and clumsiness so obviously on display. It tried to handle it well. it tried to be a credit to Master, but when it earned harsh beratement from Master it could not handle its shame and feeling of smallness. the ******* bolted.

Now again the ********* has made a bad situation worse. it was already in trouble for stupidity and carelessness, then it added on top willfullness and disobediance. the ******* is seriously shaken up and unhappy. it is having doubts about whether it will ever be able to even have one day without earning Master's anger. it feels like some small creature in a field that is being dive bombed by hawks. the ******** is so skittish and nervous. The want to escape is strong. All it has committed itself to at this point is one more command. if it can just follow the next command Master gives and then maybe the next one.

May 24, 2006 at 12:27 am Leave a comment

Servitude – is sometimes REALLY good.

Friday, May 19th

the ******** spoke with Master about SL. it has still not been asking for permission to do things there. the ******** finally acknowledged to Master that this is true. It is very difficult for the ********* to bend to having restraints put upon what it will do. Small feelings of resentment and disobedience started to build in its' heart. the ********* struggled and asked for some permissions. One of the permissions it was granted was to read the forums from work, but to only post with specific permission. A limitation it has fought hard to obey.  (upon asking it learned the price would be too high to break.)

the ********* was given a task by Master to build its own restraints. "this means learning how to build things, correctly apply textures, and use LSL to start animations." the ********* can not tell you how good it felt to be given a task. It washed away all feelings of resentment. the chance to please is so important to this slut's heart.

The ********* again earned several punishments in its' struggle to obey. After punishments it also learned it had earned a reward. (for entertaining Master with a story.) Then the *********'s happiness was overflowing into intense excitement. it was to get dressed for work. In the time it had between dressing and walking out the door it was allowed to masturbate to one orgasm. Oh how it enjoyed squirming into its panties and bras with a small touch here and a pinch there *grin*. It enjoyed waking the rest of its' family while stopping frequently in its own bedroom to dip its fingers in its' slick cunt. Too soon it was almost time to walk out the door. The ******** stopped one last time at the restroom to supposedly fix its hair. it leaned agains the sink with its' slacks at its' knees. it reached into its' panties thinking of Master and how good it felt to serve Him, it brought itself to a quick powerful orgasm. Then, as commanded, licked its fingers clean. Ran a quick brush through its' hair and walked out the door with a huge grin.

the ********* was given another task by its' Master. it was to contact Master's head sub.  the ******* was very nervous about contacting her. the ********* was worried about the head subs feelings. the head sub was beautiful and gracious. The head sub's concern all centered on its' Master. the ********* can only hope to someday be as lovely and gracious. it was a short conversation, but it impressed the ********* very much.  it would gladly serve under her for Master's pleasure.

May 24, 2006 at 12:23 am Leave a comment

Servitude – is sometimes a struggle

A struggle.

the ********* has been making several stupid mistakes. it does not listen closely and carefully to what its' Master commands. it was careless with what it wrote in its' blog. it has acted without Master's approval or permission.

Yesterday Master rightfully decided it needed punishment to correct its' behaviour. it stupidly spent the day fighting against the punishment and being resentful. it became more disobediant and defiant. it had a miserable day all brought on by itself.

it has had to reavaluate what it wants. it asked for this servitude but now it struggles againt the domination. does it truly have the soul of a sub? does it want the pain and struggle? All it knows is it can not bear the thought of walking away.

Master the ********* comes back to humble kneel at Your knees. it is truly repentent. it is truly sad and sorry. it regrets it has missed day. it is ready to take punishment and instruction.

May 22, 2006 at 2:49 pm Leave a comment

Exploring Second Life

Journal Entry One – covering from the time the ******** entered servitude Monday, May 15th through the Morning of Friday, May 19th.

The last time the ******** spoke with its Master He patiently reminded it that it did not have free will, and that it had agreed to ask permission for the things it wanted to do in SL. the ******** had spent three days wandering about acting as it had free will. Mostly it has tried to anticipate what Master would want, but a few times it has blatently not even considered it. This journal entry will cover those days.

During the workday the ********* has limited time and capabilities to participate in Second Life. it has made it a habit to read the forum and comment here and there. Monday during the day it made the decision to become a premium member. it signed up for this without discussing it with Master, even though it knew that should.

Monday evening the ********* came online and finding itself alone decided to play tringo. it learned this game last week. it has always liked tetris, so finds this game and chatter going on around fun and relaxing. the ********* won her first ever pot. it was fun. The host reminded it to take a snapshot.

Then the ******** went to window shop at Xcite. it was quietly looking at options trying to decide what to ask Master for permission to buy. it was approached by a man there even though the ******** has an armband the clearly lables it as Master's property. the man asked the ******** about what it intended to purchase. it politely told him that it would be discussing it with its' Master. the man said the ******** should purchase now and surprise its' Master. He offered to help her try on purchases. the ******** said its' Master would decide what, when, and how any purchases were used. the ******** walked away from that section of the store trying to politely ignore the stranger. He continued following it and trying to talk it into purchasing and trying out items. The ******** stopped being polite and said right out. "No, not interested!" and walked quickly away.  Even then he continued to follow the ******** around until it felt it had no choice but to just teleport away. the ********* definately needs some guidance on how Master wants it to treat others. What are Master's expectations? Must it always be polite? it felt angry that this stranger would try to break a clearly expressed bond.

Tuesday the ********* again stopped in Second Life in the evening. it played a few rounds of tringo. its' friend from newbie island came online. the ********* had made some commitements to show this friend around and had already talked to Master about how it should fulfill those commitements. it spent about fifeteen minutes with this friend. it met her friend at New Citizens, Inc. plaza. He was somewhat saddened to see her armband. but light and teasing about it. the ********* gave him a couple of newbie folders with some interesting landmarks and notes that had been given to her. He asked it to show him something interesting. the ******** took him to Blackthorn's Chinese Garden and spent a few minutes walking and talking before excusing itself.

Wednesday evening the ******** spent sometime on Second Life wandering around window shopping. it is astounded by the amount of things out there available for purchase the clothing, the hair, the furniture. it loves to look at different areas of Second Life.

Finally early Thursday morning the ********* was able to talk to Master. Now it is anxious to hear what Master feels about its activities. it is anxious to start asking for permission to do things instead of just deciding to do them. it realizes though that to be truly possesed by Master it must.

Thursday evening the ********* did not spend anytime at Second Life. it did spend sometime during the day the forum and doing some research on land. it also learned how to search for topics on the wiki, and started reading some of the animation forum. Very fascinating stuff there.

From this point forward the ******** will faithfully journal her Second Life happenings. it expects to daily take a few minutes for a short post.

May 19, 2006 at 2:59 pm Leave a comment

Early days of sexual exploration and discovery – I learn something new

I learn something new.

It was over a year before I happened to see F at another event. He hadn’t been around much and a whole flock of girls were taking up his time. In the middle of the evening he came up and asked if I wanted to go to another party with he and couple of his friends. I wasn’t sure I wanted to go. I was have a good time where I was. I was also a little miffed that he hadn’t been paying much attention to me. I was about to say no when he gave me the sexy smile. He bent over and whispered, “Do you know you are three whole pages in my diary?” To this day I don’t know if it was a line. If it was, it was a damn good one. I was swept off my feet.

In the van F and I set in the back while the other couple was in the front. It wasn’t long before we were groping and necking. He asked if I minded if he stopped for a shower. With visions of the shower running through my thoughts, I didn’t mind at all. On the drive he kept hitting all my hot spots, but whenever I tried to escalate the action he would slow down with a wicked grin.

At his home he invited me to come into the bathroom while he took his shower. I was hoping for an invite in, but he set me on the toilet to wait. After he striped for the shower he came over for a kiss. When I reached out to rub him he teasingly put my hands between my knees. “I want you to behave and keep your hands to yourself,” he said with a wink. Several times during the shower he leaned out to plant a damp kiss on my lips, but every time I tried to move my hands he would firmly put them back between my knees. When he got out of the shower, I started to hand him the towel. Once again he put my hands between my knees. “A little longer,” he said. “When I get you to my room you can touch as much as you want.”

He wrapped the towel around his hips and we headed down the hall to the bedroom. When he got there he stopped in the doorway. Then he pushed me a few steps back down the hall. “My friends are in there. I can’t really kick them out and make them wait on us.” I can make them get ready to go to the party, or we can share the bed. It is king size they won’t mind. It is up to you.” He beamed when I said bed.

Finally I got to touch! We tumbled into bed fondling, licking, and teasing. I was floating on a cloud of sensations when I started to feel extra hands. All my engines were revving on high and I didn’t complain. When each of F’s friends moved to each side of us, I didn’t complain. When F moved above me and the other guy helped pull open my thighs while his girlfriend helped guide F inside me, I didn’t complain. I definitely didn’t complain when she bent her head to suckle my breast. All the stimulation quickly brought me to a shuddering orgasm. The girl pulled my mouth to hers and gave me a deep soft kiss. She then pulled her partner back to the other side of the bed.

F rolled over onto his back and pulled me over to snuggle against his side. Every so often he would reach over and fondle the girl. Then he would guide my hand over to pet her. After awhile he moved over to her side until she was sandwiched between the two guys. They were teasing her into frenzy. She was begging to be taken. That is when F told her she had better start begging me. He told her that the only way she was going to cum is if I would bring her to it with my tongue. The guys had her pinned on her back each of them was holding one of her thighs pulling them wide. She squirmed and pleaded. F looked at me with expectation. I nervously moved between her legs. I just tried to do what I knew I would like. It was surprisingly easy and natural.

Soon F moved behind me and again slid into my moist heat. I could see the other guy above his girlfriend’s head. She was licking his cock and balls while I licked her cunt. The sound of her orgasm set of a chain reaction. In just a matter of minutes we were a huge, gooey, sweaty pile of panting bodies.

It was a night of firsts. My first female on female experience, and it was my first inkling I was a sub. I enjoyed being told what to do. I enjoyed the begging. It had given me a small taste of a fascinating sexual world.

May 19, 2006 at 1:15 pm Leave a comment

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